Yeeeehawwww my maw and paw taught me well! Files #2

Yeeeehawwww my maw and paw taught me well! Files #2

Our next story, comes from 2011 yet again - which I know will annoy some butthurt people, but it is a goody.

This is a story about a girl called Jessalyn Stierwalt (21) from Beatrice, Nebrasksa who was on probation, and forgot she had a date with her probation officer.

Unfortunately like most rednecks she was drunk as a skunk, and one of her restrictions was not to be drunk.. so she couldn't well go could she..

But no worries the good thing about being a female redneck is other redneck friends, who may well be your half-sister/brother or your own offspring through your brother, can come to the rescue when they are drunk as a fart also.

So her friends Jerry and Scott decided it would be better to do something than the normal make up an excuse and re-arrange the appointment, and that was to stab her and get her to the hospital. No one should suspect that!

And like good friends they proceeded to stab Jessalyn in the stomach and shoulder area several times, so when in hospital she can sober up a lot.

Problem is hospitals and drunk rednecks don't mix and soon all 3 of them were proud of their accomplishment telling doctors and nurses on what happened, and how it was genius to do this to get her out of her date with the probation officer.

Stupid rednecks are stupid, and the hospital notified police who then charged Jessalyn with conspiracy to commit assault (even on herself) and faced up to 5 years.... the courts had a good laugh and let her off with that for her stupidity.

Her friends were also charged assault and use of a weapon to commit a felony, they escaped with probations also.




Added:

By: DABhand (545.40)

Tags: shit, probation, officer, stab, me, it, will, be, fine, brag, about, it, redneck, style

Location: Albuquerque, NM, USA

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